In Control?

It's funny how God works. Today I overbooked myself, on my plate was baby-sitting for synergy and a girlfriends bible study. To be honest I am not that into this study and decided it would be ok if I missed. God had other plans and synergy ended up being cancelled since one of the girls could not get back to the DFW area.

So, instead of going home just to turn around and head back out I decided to just stay at work and finish up a few things. Before I knew it was getting late and I knew I had to get it in gear if I was going to make it. I get about half way there when traffic comes to a stop but I realize I am in the area that I used to work in. I get onto 114 and cut through a few back streets. I know the general location for the study (a different location that before) and I grab a Starbucks before trying to find the location.

Literally a block away and I almost get hit by a truck, my Starbucks drinks almost spills, and I can not find the entrance to the apartment. I think about heading home while circling the area and end up turning into the correct apartment complex and finding the apartment. YEAH!

I arrive and I am the only one to show up so far. I joke with Elaine saying we can just say we watched the lesson and be done with it and be that much closed to finishing this study. She said she was afraid nobody else was going to show up because of weather (thunderstorms) and there were a lot of accidents in the area.

Three more ladies showed up and we talked about how we were struggling with the study. We just can’t seem to get in it. We pop in the DVD and make a few wise cracks and try focus on what is being said. All of a sudden the room is quiet as we are all listening to what is being said. Then the DVD freezes and Elaine said something to the effect of “Man the devil really does not want us to watch this.” She runs into her room and gets her DVD player and we continue watching the lesson. By the way, this lesson happens to coincide with the class that Bob and I are currently taking at Fellowship.

It is hard to explain what God did tonight but HE was moving in that apartment. Here is a group of women as diverse as we can be. All of us in a different season of life but tonight that diversity brought us closer to each other and closer to God. I normally do not open up to people I have only seen three other times much less cry in front of them but tonight I did.

God lead me to share my story of when Terry was in the ICU and not expected to make it through the night. In a nutshell I talked about the different phases of prayer I went though on my drive from El Paso to Dallas. I prayed he would let her live, then I prayed He could take her but only if He let me say goodbye first, and then finally released her to Him and said it was fine if He took her without me saying goodbye. The amount of growth I experienced in that car for the twelve hours it took me to get to Dallas is mind boggling to me.

I had realized I am not in control and no matter what I try to do I can’t change on single thing. The only thing I can control is how I respond to the situation. I was so grateful when she woke up and was released after seven days.

By the time I finished with my story there was not a dry eye in the room. Tonight I got to know the women that God has placed in my life better. Just being able to hear their stories and how God has used some awful events to grow these wonderful women is truly amazing. I am not going to go into specifics but each of the life events led to a realization of how God allows bad things to happen in order for great things to happen.

In my FC study we have been talking about trusting God, depending on God, and turning the control over to God. Tonight all three of those topics collided. Thank you, Lord for getting me to bible study tonight. Again, I can’t explain what happened tonight but God was speaking through the video and each of those women.

Tonight God showed me, again, I am not in control. He had plans for me tonight and He got me where I needed to be. As I sit here typing this I am still trying to process it. All I know is I needed to document it so I can look back on it. (Something we learned last night - if we write it down then we can look back and see how He is in control through our own stories and the stories of others.)